This was a spur-of-the-moment writing session. We went out of our way to find a genre we didn't feel comfortable with, and ended up with Silent Film. We only gave ourselves 90 minutes, and hit it pretty close to on-time.
The specifics we got really didn't speak to us (aside from the obvious disconnect between a music box and a silent film), but we ended up with something we'd like to play around with for practice. Maybe with some feedback it will turn into something decent.
Your 48HFP Trial has the following specifics:
Name: Burt / Becky Carino
Occupation: Surgeon
Prop: a music-box
Line of Dialogue: Some get wetter, some get drier.
Genre: Silent Film*
Logline: A man and woman are in love, but when problems arise, the music box takes the fall. - Symphonium
Linear storyline
He walks past a sign at a dry cleaners (Some get wetter, some get dryer)
After that he sees the tinkerer’s shop
music box in the window looks at him
He gives her a music box; it has a picture in it of them
- she adores it
Day in the life
- perspective of music box
- working out
- vacuuming
- party/showing it to friends
Middle
Music box gets broken during an argument
They break up because of the argument
End
He arrives with flowers; finds the music box in the trash
He fixes the music box, places it at her front door
She catches him, sees it, adores it again.
They kiss and make up.
The script follows.
-----
FADE IN
EXT. ALL IN GOOD TIME TINKER SHOP - DAY
A music box sits in the window.
Slow pull back from the music box.
EXT. BUSY SIDEWALK - DAY
The sound of cars honking and buses of a busy street dance around Adrian. Adrian walks along a busy sidewalk with a cup of coffee in his hand. A chalkboard easel comes into view. It reads:
“Some get wetter, some get drier” an arrow points to the dry cleaners.
Adrian chuckles and starts to walk by. The Dry Cleaner stands in the door frame and beckons him to get his coat cleaned. Adrian passes on the offer. The Dry Cleaner pulls his arm, Adrian passes. The Dry Cleaner pulls his arm again spilling coffee on his jacket. The Dry Cleaner motions for him to get his jacket cleaned. Adrian scrunches his face at the Dry Cleaner and walks on brushing off the coffee.
He sees the other side of the easel. It reads:
“I fix your things” an arrow points to the “All in Good Time” tinker shop.
Adrian continues to walk on when something catches him from the corner of his eye. He turns and stares into the shop.
INT. MUSIC SHOP - DAY
Music Box POV: We see Adrian staring at the music box and the street behind him. He walks into the shop and out of frame. The street is busy with passersby. A BELL rings as he opens the door. A CASH REGISTER dings as he pays.
Music Box POV: Music box gets wrapped in paper and put inside a bag - Cut to Black.
INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Mary unwraps the music box.
Music plays.
Mary places the music box next to a candle, funeral program, and picture of her father (the surgeon) in a doctor’s coat (or a close friend). The funeral program reads:
“In Loving Memory: Dr. Burt Carino”
INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Music Box POV: The couple do yoga side by side.
INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Music Box POV: The couple has friends over for board games.
INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Music Box POV: The couple gets close to each other and run off screen.
INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Music Box POV: Mary rolls her eyes at Adrian.
INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Music Box POV: The couple dance with candlelight around them in nice formal clothing.
INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Music Box POV: Couple and friends bring in boxes.
INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Music Box POV: The couple do yoga side by side.
INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Music Box POV: The couple eat on the couch.
INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Music Box POV: The couple gets close to each other and run off screen.
INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Music Box POV: The couple eat on the couch.
INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Music Box POV: Couple sit on either side of the couch. Arms folded and not talking.
INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Music Box POV: The couple yells at one another. Arms shoot up in the air. Adrian knocks the music box from its perch, shattering it on the ground.
Mary’s eyes well with tears as she yells “GET OUT!” She crumples to the floor next to the music box. The front door shuts.
EXT. MARY’S FRONT YARD - DAY
Adrian arrives at Mary’s house with flowers in hand. On the way from the car to her door he passes by the trash, at the top of which is the broken music box. Adrian takes the broken music box and flowers, gets back in his car and leaves.
INT. ALL IN GOOD TIME TINKER SHOP - DAY
Adrian enters the shop. In his hands he carefully carries the broken music box.
INT. ALL IN GOOD TIME TINKER SHOP - DAY
Adrian converses with the tinker. He mimes the argument that caused the music box to break. The tinker takes the broken music box, nodding with understanding.
EXT. ALL IN GOOD TIME TINKER SHOP - DAY
Adrian paces like an expectant father. After some time, the tinkerer comes out and beckons him inside.
The music box music begins again without distortion.
INT. ALL IN GOOD TIME TINKER SHOP - DAY
The music box is fixed. Adrian tries to pay the tinker, but he refuses the money.
EXT. MARY’S FRONT DOOR - DAY
Adrian knocks on the front door. Mary answers with a sour look on her face. He presents her with the repaired music box. Kiss and make up.
INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
See the couple dancing in the living room to the music box’s music.
SLOW PUSH INTO MUSIC BOX
ROLL CREDITS
First read through: 4:10
No comments:
Post a Comment