Here is my second practice session. Again, I limited myself to one hour of writing time.
The Character:
Random word, "forecasting" gives me
Weather Forecaster. There were no character names in the search results, so I took this for the occupation.
Random word, "spur" gives character name
Todd Spurrier.
The Prop: scale
Line of dialogue:
Random word, "amendment" gets, "
You betrayed me, but you can still make amends" from Inception.
Genre: Thriller/Suspense
I will say from the outset that I am not
thrilled with these specifics. Ha ha.
Need a green screen for the weather forecaster to stand in front of. The studio at FRCC would work.
From wikipedia:
Information cover-up; fight scene; chase scene
Ransoms; captives; heists; revenge; kidnappings; investigations; mind games; stalking; confinement/deathtraps; obsession; conspiracy theories; false accusations; paranoia
Villain-driven plot where the villain presents obstacles for the hero to overcome
I'm seeing a crime scene presented in flashes, perhaps photographer's flashes.
Opening scene: It's dark. An outdoor crime scene is presented in flashes from a photographer's camera flash perspective. Each flash is only on the screen briefly (long enough to see what is in the scene). It shows things knocked over, a puddle of blood, maybe some blood sprayed on the wall of a building, and the dead body of a woman.
The location of the scene should be recognizable from multiple angles. In fact, one of the pictures should be taken from outside, and that would show up later on.
Fade to black. Pull a "24 hours before" segue.
Todd Spurrier is a weather forecaster for the local TV station. He got the forecast totally wrong last night and again today, though, and viewers are angry. Todd is very distracted by a non-work-related issue. He's being blackmailed.
At work, he is signed into his bank account, almost literally pulling his hair out trying to come up with the money to ransom his wife. She was kidnapped the night before. (Flashback to kidnapping scene?) The kidnappers called him last night (flashback to the call?) and gave him ransom demands that exceeded his ability to pay. They emphasized no police involvement or she dies. In fact, the killers say they'll stab her in the neck. (Recall that the body was stabbed in the neck.)
When a coworker comes up to his desk, he quickly switches to the current local radar.
Coworker Lisa (whose approach is obviously no attempt at sneaking): "Hey, Todd."
Todd (startled): "Gah! Jeez, don't sneak up on me like that, Lisa!"
Lisa: Sorry. You look a little distracted. What's up?
Todd (scrambling to come up with a convincing lie): I'm just looking at the radar for the next segment.
Todd tries to look convincingly at the screen and at a piece of paper with a map printed on it. Lisa looks over his shoulder.
Lisa: "Yeah, you better put a little more time into that. They're starting to call you, 'Todd Spurious.' Get it? 'Cause your name's Spurrier?"
Todd (irritated): "I get it."
(beat)
Lisa: "Well, that might explain something. Look at the scale on this map here."
Lisa points to the scale at the bottom of the printed page.
Lisa: "This one's in feet. That one's in miles."
Lisa then points to the scale on the computer screen.
Todd: "Oh, yeah. (nervous laugh) That should fix it. Thanks."
Lisa walks away looking at Todd oddly. She passes by another coworker.
Lisa (whispered): "There's something *odd* about *Todd*."
Other coworker: "What else is new?"
Focus back on Todd, working feverishly at the computer, obviously not working on weather forecasting. He picks up the phone.
Todd (on phone, talking quietly but emphatically): "I need to close my account. Which branch should I go to?"
He listens a moment.
Todd: "Is that the one on Main Street?"
(beat)
Todd: "Okay, thanks."
Todd hangs up the phone. He copies the forecast he did for the last segment and pastes it into a new email and sends it out to the on-air folks with a note, "Here's the next forecast. I'm feeling sick. Have Dan cover my shift?"
Todd gets up from his desk, grabs his coat and briefcase/bag. He leaves the office and gets in his car. He dumps the contents of his briefcase in the (very nice) car with no concern for what is in it. He goes to the bank, closes his account (putting the money in his now-empty bag. His cell phone rings *as soon as he emerges from the bank*.
Kidnapper (on phone): "Did you get the money?"
Todd (too loud): "Yes" then after seeing the looks of others around him, quietly: "Yes, I have the damn money. Now what?"
(Running out of time on my hour timebox.)
He's given instructions on where to meet. It should be at night in a fairly remote area. In the intervening time, he tries (unsuccessfully) to eat something. He talks to himself. He comes up with several paranoid delusions about how they figured out to target him, how they got past the security system in his very nice house, about how his wife never goes out during the day. He actually begins to piece together a scenario where she is working with the kidnappers to try to take the money and run. She came from a poorer family and her family never liked him. They think he's a cheater and treating their daughter badly. Talking to himself, he reveals that she actually cheated on him and he took her back. He finally convinces himself that she was involved.
He checks his watch several times. Finally, he drives to the place where the exchange is to happen. By this time, he's a wreck. His clothes and hair are disheveled. He sees the kidnappers. They bring out his wife. The usual exchange thing goes on here. It's successful. Then Todd decides it was all too easy, and he's going to go after the kidnappers to get their license plate or something. His wife throws her arms around him and holds him back.
Todd: What are you doing? Let me go! I need to get their license plate!
Veronica: Don't! Let them go. They'll kill you if you try to follow them!
Todd pushes her away and turns to go. Veronica lunges forward and trips him, causing them to get away (a car engine is heard driving away in the background.)
Todd turns to Veronica, angry. "You betrayed me, but you can still make amends."
Veronica: What are you talking about? This?
Veronica starts towards the fly of his pants. Todd pushes her away.
Todd: How can you think of that at a time like this? You're working with them, aren't you?
Todd spies a knife on a nearby table, grabs it and turns on Veronica. "You were in bed with them. Did you blow them, too? You weren't a victim. You were their whore.
Veronica: NO!
Todd: You've lied to me before. You lying cheater. Your word means nothing.
Todd moves towards Veronica. Veronica runs outside, Todd chases. It ends up with him turning a corner and dropping the knife. It sets up on a rock (might be able to shoot its landing backwards). It gleams in the light. Veronica doubles back and runs past that corner of the house, trips and the knife goes through her throat. She dies. Todd regrets everything. He calls 9-1-1.
What are the odds we could get a police car to "arrest" him?
As he is pulling away, someone is covering the body with a sheet. Camera flashes can be seen in the reflection of the police car window. Inside the police car, Todd looks horrible, but he is smiling, faintly.
Fade to black.
At this point, I ran out of time.
All in all, I think I can work with this one. It might take another couple hours to massage it into something worth shooting, and another hour or so to come up with a shot schedule and dialogue script, particularly if i get some help with those. It's still not great, and there are a few places where there are holes in the plot (and lots of holes in the dialogue), but those can be patched up as we go along, I think.
The specific challenges we would have are 1) securing a police car and officer for the arrest, and 2) filming in a bank. We'd probably have to fake both. While blue and red lights flashing would probably suffice for the one, and the arresting officer could be a detective instead (so suit instead of uniform), banks are notoriously freaked out by people not playing by the rules. They're also not very open on the weekends. It would be tough.
